Whenever I check into a hotel, the first thing I do is examine the Pay-Per-View porn selection. In fact, I have switched hotels when the porn has been sub-standard (read: heavily edited), and have become very attached to titles with fast-forward capability, though only because of my workload. Recently, after a particularly emotional session of self-actualization, I realized I had nothing to show for all these stolen moments but a long list of credit card charges and terrific hand/eye coordination. That's when I remembered art, which is all about turning experience into something people will buy. I began shooting long exposure photographs of porn off the TV, and as you can see from the result, I am about to become a very, very rich man. If that fact bothers you, just remember that you too can be rich, if you can turn your disgusting personal habits into art. Oh, and one important piece of advice: ordering all the titles for $24.99 instead of one title for $14.99 is definitely the way to go.

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